Chapter 7: Build Relationships Before You Need Them! 🤝

Happy Friday, Brew Nation! 

As we continue through the “Scary Book” of leadership lessons, we arrive at a principle that underpins everything else. We’ve talked about your circle and running toward fear, but today we get into the “how” of long-term sustainability. 

Today, we dive into Chapter 7: Build Relationships Before You Need Them! 

The Crisis Reality 

In every area of life, you are either going into a crisis, currently in a crisis, or coming out of a crisis. It is an inevitable part of the human experience. When those storms hit, you will need help. The question is: have you built the bridge before you need to cross it? 

This applies to our professional teams, our families, and most importantly, our relationship with God. He doesn’t want to be a “911 emergency operator” we only call when the house is on fire; He wants to be part of the daily details of our lives. 

The Relationship Bank Account 

As Darren Hardy famously noted, relationships are like bank accounts. Every time you give, support, or encourage someone, you are making a deposit. 

“Your goal is to go around making deposits in as many bank accounts as possible… build up a great wealth of relationship equity, and then without solicitation you will yield great returns in ways you cannot imagine.” 

The first rule of networking is: Give first, give often, and keep giving. If the first time you reach out to someone is because you need a favor, your “account” is overdrawn before you even start. 

Excellence is Intentional 

John Maxwell says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” But they won’t know you care if you aren’t present. 

I often encourage leaders to perform “Gemba Walks.” (In Lean manufacturing, the Gemba is the “real place” where the work happens). It means getting out of your office and into the world of your team. I hear all the excuses: “I don’t have time,” “I don’t know what to say,” or “They think I’m micromanaging.” 

Blah, blah, blah. Those are excuses. Good intentions without discipline lead to excuses; good intentions with discipline lead to excellence. 

Two Frameworks for Connection 

If you want to be intentional about building equity, try these two methods: 

1. The Butterfly Effect: My friend Craig “butterflies” every morning—flying around slowly just to say good morning and check in. The power isn’t in the conversation; it’s in the consistency. Your team will notice when you aren’t there. 
2. The 3-2-1 Framework: If you don’t have a physical floor to walk, use this monthly goal: 3 coffees, 2 lunches, and 1 dinner. Even in a remote world, you can do 3 “virtual coffees.” Invest deeply in the “Big Kahuna” accounts that yield high returns. 

The “Uncommon” Action Plan: 

To make this work, you must be a student of people. 

• Learn their names: We get good at remembering names when we actually care about the person attached to them. 
• Journal what you learn: When a team member mentions a daughter’s soccer game or a son’s graduation, write it down. Following up a week later to ask how it went is a massive deposit. 
• Use the Care Card: Keep a physical or digital record of what matters to your circle. 

Quote of the Week 

“Life is relationships… the rest is just details.” > — Stan Buck 

Leadership isn’t about managing fear—it’s about leading through it. Uncommon leaders don’t wait for comfort or certainty; they act when their stomach is churning, and the path feels heavy. That’s where growth begins. 

This week, don’t avoid the hard thing. Step into it with courage, lean on your tribe, and let momentum do the rest. Email me at coachjohngallagher@gmail.com and tell me: Who are your 5 people for this week? 

 
 
What you need to do:  
 

Your Challenge: 

Pick 5 people today. This week, make a deposit into their accounts. Don’t ask for anything. Instead, ask them: “What are you working on that I can help with?” or send them a book or resource that would be valuable to them. 

It’s an honor to be your trusted Friday Coffee Guy. Each week, I bring what I’m learning and living in the trenches of leadership. If this edition challenged or encouraged you, share it with someone who leads, stays faithful, or learns alongside you, then click subscribe. Let’s grow Brew Nation together!  

Until next time—stay focused, stay faithful, and keep growing, Champions!  💪