The Coaching Edge: Why Your Comfort is Killing Your Growth

“I am not here to comfort the afflicted. I am here to afflict the comforted.” — Bill Moffitt 

Happy Friday, Brew Nation! 

We’ve just wrapped a powerful 3-part series on legacy that landed with real fire—strong engagement, great conversations, and hearts stirred. That’s the beauty of digging into what lasts: when we talk legacy, people lean in because deep down, we all know average won’t cut it. 

This week I spent time with a high-level client who handed me pure gold—raw, honest fodder for the Brew. They’re sharp, driven, but stuck in places many leaders hide from. Stretch goals? They hesitate, fearing the discomfort. Priorities? They pile on too many, scattering focus like seeds on rocky ground. Completion plans? Sometimes vague—”soon,” “some day,” “we’ll get to it.” Sound familiar? 

Out came some of my favorite ‘-isms’ that cut through the fog: 

• Some is not a number, and soon is not a time.  
• You can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything you want. Trade-offs are real—choose wisely or drift. 
• But the one that hit me hardest as their coach? Something my Lean mentor and friend Bill Moffitt taught me early: “I am not here to comfort the afflicted. I am here to afflict the comforted.”   

That’s the dangerous, beautiful edge of real coaching. (And leadership. And friendship. Parenting. Marriage.) It’s recognizing the greatness buried in someone—the potential God planted—and calling it forth with clarity and courage. Not coddling. Not criticizing. Calling out and calling higher. (Love that acronym my pastor friend gave me: COACH = Call Out And Call Higher.) 

Not everyone is ready for it. Comfort is sneaky—it whispers that “good enough” is safe, that reclining back in the chair is rest when really it’s retreat. Shoot, comfort gets in my way too sometimes. I catch myself wanting the easy affirmation instead of the stretch that produces fruit. 

The “Chair Test” of Growth 

How do you know if you are actually stretching? I watch for the body posture. 

• The Recliner: If you sit back and say “no problem” to a goal, you aren’t growing; you’re just repeating what you already know. 
• The Leaner: When you lean forward, firm up your posture, and say “tell me more,” you’ve entered the growth zone. 
• The Squirmer: When you start squirming in the chair because the goal feels a little “too big,” that’s the sweet spot. That is where transformation lives. 
• The Fall-Out: If you’re falling out of the chair in a panic, we’ve pushed too far—but most of us live far too close to the “Recliner” to ever worry about that. 

Brew Nation, if you’re reading this, I believe you already know: we’ve been called to greatness, to uncommon, to higher—not average, not reclined, not “soon.” John 15:5 reminds us: “If you remain (abide) in me, and I in you, you will bear much fruit.  Apart from me, you can do nothing.”  That fruit doesn’t grow in comfort zones; it grows in the stretch, in the affliction of the comforted places. 

Being a Leader is the willingness to be coached. It is the humility to say to a mentor, “Afflict my comfort. Call me higher.” If you are the smartest or most comfortable person in your circle, your circle is too small. 

Uncommon Leaders don’t just coach others; they actively seek out the people who will make them “squirm in the chair.” They know that legacy isn’t built in the recliner—it’s built in the stretch. Hit reply and tell me—I’m here for the conversation. Or if you’re ready to stretch further, REQUEST A FREE CALL. Let’s afflict some comfort zones together and watch the fruit multiply.  

What you need to do:  

So here’s the invitation today—for you, for me, for every leader in the Brew: 

1. Seek out the coach who afflicts the comforted. Not the cheerleader who only tells you what you want to hear. Find the one (or be the one) who sees what you don’t want to see, so you can become who you’ve always known you could be. (Tom Landry nailed it: “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.”) 
2. Allow yourself to be afflicted—in a good way. When the squirm comes, don’t run from it. Lean in. Ask: “What greatness is God calling out here? What trade-off am I avoiding?” Let the discomfort be the signal that growth is happening. 
3. Call higher in your own circles. Your team, your family, your friends—they need someone to see their potential and refuse to let them settle. Do it with grace, truth, and love. Comfort gets in the way; calling higher clears the path. 

It’s an honor to be your trusted Friday Coffee Guy. Each week, I bring what I’m learning and living in the trenches of leadership. If this edition challenged or encouraged you, SHARE it with someone who leads, stays faithful, or learns alongside you, then click SUBSCRIBE. Let’s grow Brew Nation together! 

Until next week—stay focused, stay healthy, and keep growing, Champions!